Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Pants are for mortals
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
