I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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