ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
