someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
