You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
