i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
