Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize