in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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