Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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