Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
