happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
