Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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