PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
