But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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