I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
