accomplished twins. life is a go
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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