idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
