...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
