bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
