We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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