glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
