my room smells like sperm. sweet.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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