this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
