yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
