dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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