is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
