who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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