ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
