I'm really into asian looking animals
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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