the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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