i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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