Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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