I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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