we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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