did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
