I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
