Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
