So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize