Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
