he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
