So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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