i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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