is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
