Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
