why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
