Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
