giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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