Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm like, not good at living.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
