I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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