this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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