But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
