Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
