Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
