i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
