the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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