Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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