He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
