Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
